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 Subject :stash found..
2017-03-07 13:57:50 
Posts: 0

my husband was on c****** meth for years, but assured me that he stopped a few years ago, at that stage we were already together, but my eldest daughter found his stash, and he lied himself out of it. what i found strange thinking back, is that he never had any withdrawal symptoms of any sorts, but his behavior changed drastically about 4 months ago, and then i started suspecting that he might be using again, only in much higher dosages. i asked him last week, because he has been very irrationally, and he said "of course not" and stormed out. he doesn't sleep for days on end, "working" straight through the night (he is in IT), some times 2 nights in a row, and still go to the office in the mornings. because meth is an upper, he constantly takes 2-3 sleeping tablets and tranquilizers, and still can't sleep. i was looking through his stuff on sunday night, because i simply KNEW that there had to be something, and i found it, my heart sank, and i don't know how to confront him, he is a wonderful man, and i desperately want to help him. he spent all of sunday night, frantically looking for it, throwing stuff around and talking to himself, thinking that i was fast asleep, at 4:00 he woke me up, asking about a log in code that he had lost in a certain brown bag... this gave him away immediately, because that was exactly what he put the meth in. i hid it as proof, but don't know if i should present it when i speak to him or what. how do i start, what do i say? i refuse to live like this with all the lies, but i love him dearly, and want him to get well

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 Subject :Re: stash found..
2017-03-09 09:56:34 
Joined: 2012-09-18 18:31:31
Posts: 32

Hi Van Zyl.

In my experience with the addict in my life, I too discovered lying to be the go too response as soon as I confronted him about something. Once the first lie was exposed, I thought I was getting the truth, but the only thing I received was a variation of the first lie.

I remained in turmoil because my expectations remained unfulfilled and did not know how to manage this situation.

I started attending Nar-Anon meetings and slowly learnt the value of tempering my responses to the addict, remaining in control of myself during interactions with the addict.

It took a while for the guidance to take hold, but once I started to apply the principals of the program, my serenity definitely improved. Today my addict is in long term recovery and our relationship is fantastic, so much so I sometimes have to remind myself of the dark days as they seem so impossible to believe.

My only advice is to try attend Nar-Anon as the support you get at these Family Support Group meetings are invaluable in understanding the role you play in living with an addicted loved one.

Take action. Have courage. Be patient.


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