Tuesday 16th of October 2018

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Home Open Forum Help!! Dont know how to deal with addicts best friend
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 Subject :Help!! Dont know how to deal with addicts best friend..
2018-01-10 06:56:43 
sam
Junior
Joined: 2017-12-16 13:00:08
Posts: 1
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Hi there... My boyfriend came out of rehab at the end of last month. He has done so amazingly well and he is just determined to get his life right and so forth... His best friend is driving me absolutley insane(If i am not insane anyways after my boyfriend).. His name is Gavin, he has been best friends with my boyfriend since childhood. He is also a user and an alcoholic. Him and my bf used to do it together on odd occasions. I have despised this guy since the beginning of our relationship..There was always something sly and horrid about him, he changed my bf and his personality when he was around. He is super pressuring and whenever my bf didnt want to drink he would call him a baby and that he is not a man etc. He was the one who did come to the rescue when my bf realized he overdosed on CAT and took him to the hospital..this was his only good deed, After that he never phoned him or even asked how he was doing..he didnt even ask me how he was doing. He then went and told his girlfriend the whole story after i specifically told him not to as she is toxic. She told everyone everything about my bf including his family which didnt know about the drugs. Between them they spilled my bfs whole life story... They even phoned my bfs brother and asked if he was okay with me abusing my bf into rehab which is absolute rubbish!!!. Gavin caused so much drama for me, I also suffered a loss while my bf was in rehab and was trying to deal with everything and handling my bfs family finding out about the drugs and stopping them from falling apart.. I felt inside out, skinned alive and just plain exhausted. Now my bf knows everything about Gavin, Gavin isnt allowed near our house according to me, he has been harassing my bfs brother and it has now come out that his addiction has become so bad that he is taking infront of his 4 year old child.. He is absolutley toxic. The physciatrist said to my bf to cut him off until he is sober. My bf wants to hear his side and is chatting to him like his buddy again now and like nothing ever went down.. My blood is boiling and I am trying to take my familys advice to leave my bf to deal with this on his own and not control the situation but how could someone still be friends with someone like this.... what do i do???!

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 Subject :Re: Help!! Dont know how to deal with addicts best friend..
2018-05-25 16:57:16 
milena
Junior
Joined: 2018-05-22 15:28:50
Posts: 1
Location

Hi Sam,

your friend is giving you good advice... it is best to take the focus back onto yourself. Take lots of deep breathes and know that you (step 1) are powerless over your addict. Allow him to deal with the situation, that is part of his recovery.

Focus on your recovery and only "control" or make decisions that you can "control"... set a boundary that you can enforce if you have to.

hope this helps

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